Writing about New Years Resolutions is kind of cliche. I know this, but I have a better chance of carrying out my resolutions if I write them down in various places.

1. Be disciplined in God and the Bible more.
I’m off and on about this. I’ll read my Bible a lot and pray a lot and such for a week. The next week I won’t. I need to come up with a plan and stick to it so I actually read my Bible consistently. 

2. Argue less.
I was born an arguer. I would argue with a tree if it could talk. I need to watch how I use the talent God gave me because it can lead to disrespect if I’m not careful.

3. Take care of myself more.
I believe that taking care of yourself honors God. I don’t eat junk food that much, but I could eat less. I could drink more water, exercise (because I don’t), etc.

4. Learn guitar and piano- for real.
I’ve said I was going to do these things in the past. I know like 3 chords on the guitar, but I want to learn it fully (besides all the REALLY difficult stuff like hard finger picking stuff). I’m a lot better at piano than guitar but it’s all self-taught and I actually want lessons. Lessons sound cool.

5. Be a lamp that’s not hidden under a bowl.
I’m a Christian. I love Jesus-a lot, but I want people to see this without having to ask me. I don’t want to seem like I don’t love Jesus. I want people to know and benefit from it. I want to tell people about Jesus in such a way that they want to love him like I do.

6. Be less selfish.
I’m not what most people would think as selfish.. but I’m not selfless either. There are things I could do to help my mom out around the house so she can have a break. If she asks, I always will, but I need to volunteer more. I also feel like I should volunteer more if someone’s carrying something or when my mom has to go in Wal-Mart for two things.

7. Be more loving and less judgmental.  
I’ve come a long way on this one, but I still have a long way to go if I even want to get close to how Jesus loved. I guess I’d have to die for everyone to do that.. but I just couldn’t do that. Look at me. Breaking number six already. Anyways, I tell myself I’m a loving person, but I realize some of the things I do wouldn’t exactly be loving toward people.. so I’ll work on that.

8. Write more.
I like writing, despite me always thinking I was bad at it. I want to write more letters to God, write on here more, and journal more. I feel like my thoughts can be more organized when written down.

9. Carry out my cause.
I think I’ve found a cause::to make people know they’re loved and to bring laughter and joy into people’s lives. All I need to do now is live for it. (Jesus is also my cause but that one’s not the cause I’m talking about)

10. Keep my room organized and clean.
When my room is clean and organized I can think clearer. Well, I can read my Bible “better” which helps me think clearer. Clutter just serves as a distraction.. which brings me to my next resolution, which I just now decided to call them more of a life change thingamajig.

11. Have less distractions. 
Getting rid of distractions will allow me to focus on more important things: God, family, friends, school, etc.

I have a lot of life change thingamajigs. That’s okay though. Lots of life change is good.. if I follow through.  

Four letters put together to create a masterpiece. Love after all is what is important. Important to give and receive. I’ve been away from love at times. Sometimes I deliberately push love away, and sometimes I don’t love to those around me as I should. Love really is a great thing, and there’s enough love for everyone, even though some think otherwise.

A few years ago I was in search for love. I didn’t know that’s what I was searching for at the time, but now I know that’s exactly what I needed. Seventh grade was when I needed love most. I was loved. I knew I was, but I wanted more. I used to ask God why I didn’t feel loved if I knew I was loved. People told me they loved me all the time. The Bible told me God loved me. I just didn’t feel loved. I felt unimportant and insignificant.

Everyone needs love. Everyone feels or has felt unloved at some point in time. It’s just the way us humans are. I eventually found the love I needed. It was right in front of me the whole time. Truth was I didn’t realize how much everybody around me loved me. I knew but I hadn’t had an epiphany about it yet. It was more of a gradual epiphany if that’s possible. In the eighth grade my mom started taking us to YPC/Exchange. That place has been one of the greatest blessings from God. The people there have a heart for God and others. The environment is so peaceful, even when it’s loud. That place was the biggest part of my epiphany. They helped me realize, not just know, how much my family, friends, and God love me, how much love I was surrounded by. I’m surrounded by so much love that it’s unfathomable, yet I still have a glimpse, and a glimpse keeps me going.

On days when I feel unloved, I’m really just being selfish. On days when I give no love, I’m especially being selfish. Everyone could use a little pick me up now and then, and I love giving those in little love pebbles, like a random smile or “have a good evening” or a little help with something. My favorites are complimenting someone or telling them I love them, not just showing it. By making other people feel better, I more and more realize God’s love. It wraps me up like my favorite blanket and keeps me warm when everything around me seems cold. It’s my comfort when I have none. Love above all things is most important, most needed, most wanted, and most unknown.

I see people around me constantly suffering from blindsided-ness of love. I see people who strive for attention, love, and do anything to get it. Some rebel and some are the best they can be. More often than not, people tend to look for love in all the wrong places. After all, bad attention is better than no attention.

When I see people who are in need of love it breaks my heart. To some, I may not seem like a loving person, but I truly am. I have a heart for people who need love, probably because I know exactly how they feel. I hate seeing people ruin their lives because they don’t feel loved. Sometimes I’m not loving, and I hate that also. Sometimes I say something that’s the complete opposite of what love would be. I always regret it later because I know my words have a huge affect on people. I don’t want to be spark to a fire, a bad fire. I also realize I’m human and only God can help me become as loving as I should be. I have to ask God for a lot of help in this area because it’s probably the hardest thing for all people to do, to love like he does.

I have this picture type wall thing that says “love” on it that’s supposed to be on my wall, but hasn’t made it. It also has a saying under the word:

“There is only one happiness in life- to love and to be loved.” George Sand

This saying could be no truer than true. One can never be truly happy if they aren’t loved, or at least realized they’re loved, and give no love in return. Even if you don’t believe in God, love is the only way, although I do believe there will always be something missing if you don’t know God’s love. I don’t know where I’d be without God’s love. I honestly don’t know. I definitely know one thing though, that I would not be where I am today without love. 

I get inspired from lots of things.. here are just a few [people].

People in general. They are so inspiring. The actions of people are what most inspire me. Next come the individual people that inspire me.. If you are in this consider yourself inspiring.

I have to start out with the most important person in the world to me. My mom, Katrina Roberson. For real, I love my mom so much. When I get older I want to somewhat be a parent like my mom. She tries so hard, too hard at times, but that’s what mom’s are for. My mom tries to be the very best parent she can be. She is very giving. She would give practically anything to her children. She wishes she was perfect, but no human possibly can be. I guess being the “perfect parent” can be trying your best, and this my mother does. 

Shelley Meeker. My aunt. I love my aunt so much. She is my Shel-Shel. She is such a wise and loving person. She doesn’t care if you like wearing ugly things or don’t ever brush your hair. It doesn’t matter how good your grades are or if you want to paint one wall in your room black. My aunt Shel-Shel can see past all of that and love you. I can be my fully and complete self with her. If I ever need advice, ask Shel-Shel. If I want to get away from all the “my younger siblings cause chaos and are annoying and way too loud”-ness in my life, I could go to Shel-Shel’s. Her house is so peaceful and serene. I could find miles and miles of things to do there and never become bored. I want to have an environment around me like that. I want my house to be a calm dwelling and oasis for others when I become older. I don’t want to have an opinion about everything. I want people to feel loved whenever they’re around me.

Next comes my best friend, Sarah Watson. Sarah is always finding a way to help people. She’s just an ordinary teenage girl, but with a hunger to help people. She always offers people rides home (even though her mom drives). If someone needs help with a school something or other she’ll be glad to help. When you break your leg and are on crutches, Sarah will carry your books for you. Yes, Sarah can get and bad moods and almost break your neck if you say one word wrong, but she has a helping heart and I want a helping heart like her’s.

This next person everyone loves. You can’t not love her. Tyra Rains, of course. She is the least judgmental person and most loving person I have ever met. She will love you no matter what. If you ever need advice, I’m pretty for sure Tyra would give practically the best advice ever. She is seriously astronomically wise. I can tell she likes Proverbs. One can only dream to be as loving as Tyra is, and this is one of my dreams.Tyra loves God, a LOT. You can tell just by looking at her how at peace and joyful she is. There is a radiating light that reminisces from her heart. I want someone to look at me and see this. I want to be like Tyra Rains, like everyone else on this planet. :)

Taylor Swift inspires me. Yes, I know, she’s famous. I don’t care. Taylor Swift can teach everyone a valuable lesson. Never give up on your dreams. Be fearless. She was turned down multiple times by people and still decided to take a leap and go with a person just starting out with his own record company that could very well fail instead of taking a offer with a major one that would make her dreams have to wait longer. Look at her now. She does not care what anyone thinks of her. She has some serious confidence going on. I can learn from Taylor Swift to follow my dreams and not be afraid of what anybody thinks of me, because I am afraid.

So this last person is the most inspiring of all the people one here. Her name is Rachel Wayman. A person can learn so much from Rachel Wayman. Rachel has this fiery passion for people that I’ve never seen before. She makes me think real hard (in a good way) about the things I do. She makes me want to love God a kazillion times more. Rachel makes me starve for that fiery passion for helping people. Rachel has little wisdom nuggets hiding around every corner. She’s not afraid to tell people the hard stuff, but she says it in such a way that one can’t help but listen. She is an amazing singer and guitarist.. and slight keyist. (what would you call a keyboard player??) I keep saying fiery passion, but those are the only words to describe what Rachel has. Have you seen her preach?? If you haven’t you are missing out on some good, good stuff. And the way she dresses.. AmAzing. Oh my goodness that girl has got some major skill. I would never dress exactly like her, but I can still get some inspiration. She always looks way cute. Not fair. :) Besides her inspiring me to have a fiery passion for people and God and get some note cards to take notes on her clothes, I am deeply inspired to be myself. She is a very creative person. She can write, sing, preach, be beautiful, play instruments, and help people. I have learned God has a plan for me. What I just said may not make sense, but through watching her life, I have seen what being yourself can do.

Yes I’m aware these are all female. Some males inspire me, but for the most part I only allow females to get close enough to me to inspire me greatly. Sure, Robert Madu inspired me to be white chocolate and Rich Wilkerson Jr. inspired me to get married to someone who dresses exactly like him, but these female persons are real close to my heart. That sounded corny. I am corny. I’m weird. I should stop typing now. Ohh what joys.

Oh yeah. I realized I left out a very important person that I haven’t even met. Heather Brown. Oh my how she is inspirational to my life. She will come later. Just remember.